In 1998, Judy Singer, a sociologist, coined the term ‘neurodiversity’, a combination of the words neurological and diversity, and since then it has become a movement, which works towards inclusion, equality and social change. More recently, it is taken that neurodiversity simply refers to the spectrum of neurological diversity of humanity. With the term neurodivergent describing a person whose neurology diverges from that of the perceived typical brain and the term neurotypical describing someone who is not neurodivergent. When I practice with clients I always explain that I do so from a pluralistic perspective. This simply means that I believe there is no one thing that can work for all people all of the time. To find out what works best for a person is a unique and individual endeavour that can be facilitated through asking the person and collaboration in the therapy. Neurodiversity is something that could also be considered as being pluralistic in its assertion that everyone’s brain and makeup differs. There is no one right way of thinking, feeling, behaving and experiencing.
Therefore, not one brain is the same and all people differ in their capacities and neurobiology. Neurodiversity also affirms that a person can be born with certain traits and characteristics but people can also acquire the same as a result of their environment. I am neurodiversity -affirming in my practice and do not believe that Autism spectrum disorder (ASD), Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), Dyslexia or Dyscalculia, to mention a few neurodiverse conditions, are things that can be cured, fixed, healed, or repaired. In fact, the misnomer of ‘healing’, that often is referred to as taking place in therapy, is usually potent and apparent when a person encounters a radical self-acceptance of their fullest self and a therapist is present to facilitate that encounter.
Steve Silberman, an American award-winning science writer and speaker, argues in his book ‘Neuro-Tribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity’ that “Neurodiversity advocates propose that instead of viewing this gift as an error of nature – a puzzle to be solved and eliminated with techniques like prenatal testing and selective abortion – society should regard it as a valuable part of humanity’s genetic legacy while ameliorating aspects of autism that can be profoundly disabling without adequate forms of support”. He alludes to something which the scope of this column could not possibly cover but is worthy of mention. There is a long global history of social and medical misunderstanding and neglect that has caused unimaginable suffering and prevented full lives being lived amongst neurodivergent people.
Although society would lead us to believe that we should all fit one mould when it comes to work and life, this is simply not true. We can easily identify the fact that work/life balance differs between countries and cultures with some being more similar than others. I spent a year in the south of Spain teaching English and studying during my first time in college. One of the teachers in the staff room would always announce her exit with a nod towards me and a declaration in English that “we work to live, not live to work”! At the time and age that I was, I found it to be hilarious. It was only years later I recognised the cultural difference in her proclamation, some countries put work before life at the cost of health and happiness. That teacher did not, and always seemed happy to me!
Each person’s neurology is just as unique as each of our lived experiences are. Consequently, it must be true that recognising this and embracing this in our society can only lead to more people thriving. Thus, why might a neurodivergent person seek out psychotherapy and counselling? For Autistic people, and I write this in general terms, there is often challenges around social connections, anxiety, self-esteem, shutting down, sensory sensitivity, hyper focusing on specific things and what are referred to as meltdowns when overwhelmed. It can be said that a more inclusive society would take consideration of these things and an autistic person would not be demeaned or othered as a result, which often starts in school and is perpetuated in workplaces. If the challenges of a neurodivergent person were considered and met to the best of society’s ability, then the person may have the opportunity to flourish and thrive as a result.
For a long time autism was referred to as being a spectrum from less autistic to very autistic with terms used such as “low functioning” or “high functioning”. It has become quite apparent through literature, research and people’s lived experiences over time that this is outdated, uninformed, harmful and unhelpful. Autism is not a spectrum, it is a unique experience that gives each autistic person their own individual strengths, challenges and differences. People who have ADHD, often referred to as ADHDers, can seek out therapy for support with challenges around impulsivity, hyperactivity, emotional regulation, self-esteem, attention span and executive functioning, commonly around the relationship with time. People experiencing OCD can seek out therapy for support with challenges such as obsessive and intrusive behaviours, thoughts and feelings or managing anxiety.
Currently separate to therapy, medical systems can be supportive to neurodivergent individuals in helping them receive a diagnosis, access medication if they wish and get the right support and services that they deserve. So, how can psychotherapy and counselling help a neurodivergent individual? When I work with neurodivergent people a lot of the focus can be on undoing the untrue things they were led to believe in their life to date. Self-esteem can be absolutely obliterated in schools if a child is labelled “disruptive” or “inattentive” or they, and their parents, are told that they “could do better if they just applied themselves”. This can set the scene from a person’s earliest days to feel less than or not enough and lead to many challenges as an adult. Workplaces and society can also label adults as strange, different, not a team player, odd, broken or wrong if they don’t engage in small talk or find it hard to hold eye contact, for example. ADHDers quite often experience stressors in their home at a young age which can exacerbate their challenges as they grow. Subsequently, in neurodiversity-affirming psychotherapy and counselling, it can be about undoing the harm caused, coming in contact with one’s natural capacity for regulation, exploring one’s nervous system, and resilience, and finding one’s way back to their authentic voice to support and advocate for themselves. Often, learning coping skills and practical tools to support oneself is also part of the work.
Research finds time and time again that the one thing that is absolutely necessary for therapy to “work” is the relationship between the client and the therapist being safe and trusting. Gabor Maté, a famous neurodivergent Canadian physician, describes this eloquently when he says “Safety is not the absence of threat…it is the presence of connection.” I offer each potential client a 30-minute free phone call consultation, as I believe this gives a person the opportunity to get a sense if I might be safe and the right fit for them. On the call I always explain how I work, and more importantly, I make it clear that if I am not the right fit for a person then I am happy to provide names and numbers of alternative options. Just like neurodivergence, there is no one therapist that will fit for everyone all of the time and it is 100 per cent every person’s right to autonomy to choose who they work therapeutically with. Therapy for neurodivergent people should always embrace, affirm and accept differences with a curiosity geared towards self-acceptance. As Audre Lorde, an American writer, professor, intersectional feminist and civil rights activist, says “It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognise, accept, and celebrate those differences”.
For more information on Leo’s services, phone: 085 1300573, email: info@leomuckley.com, web: www.leomuckley.com, social media: @leomuckleypsychotherapy
