by Liz O’Mahony
Whenever I’m dealing with someone else’s dog, I try to approach him very quietly and gently. This is deliberate. If I’m grounded and clear of my own mental clutter, I can more easily watch and determine what signals the dog is giving me. And, the dog can understand me more easily.
Put it this way: the manner in which we react to each other depends entirely on our own frame of mind. Walking up to someone in a belligerent fashion gets a different response to an open, friendly, or ready-to-do-business approach. The former usually ends with both sides having ‘their hackles up’; the latter generally entails a ‘meeting of minds’.
So by approaching a dog in this unobtrusive way, I’ve set the tone for how the session, or training should progress. It also allows me to notice little signals or adjustments in a dog’s behaviour. Is the dog looking relaxed, happy, nervous, or about to launch himself at me? Once I’ve analysed his first reaction to my appearance, I can decide how to continue with him. It’s called ‘Meeting the Dog where he’s at’, which is a phrase I’ve used before.
I learnt this application when I was studying the Tellington Touch method many years ago and have never forgotten it. Simply put, TTouch means having to use a hands-on approach to a dog in order to implement the touches. Firstly, it means reading the dog’s signals to know which touch could be more beneficial to him. And, more importantly, it means ascertaining whether the dog is amenable to being touched in the first place. Not taking that vital detail into account could mean putting one’s self at risk!
The above explanations describe first meetings with a strange dog. But, what of your day-to-day dealings with your own pet? Do you realise what sort of effect you might have on him? Your everyday manner could be having a great effect or conversely, causing him stress.
An illustration will explain a lot. A notoriously bad-tempered man owned two Dalmations. They were equally surly and tried to bully any other dog they met, running up in a confrontational manner to provoke a reaction. I met them on a regular basis where I used to live. One day, I noticed that a different man was in charge of them and those two dogs behaved impeccably. There was no aggression or confrontation! I could hardly believe my eyes at the difference in their behaviour. Then I realised what was happening: Dogs ‘copy’ everything we do. The owner was rude and aggressive – and so were his dogs. The second man was pretty laid back – and the dogs reacted favourably.
There’s such an onus on us to help our dogs enjoy their lives by monitoring our own actions. So, think about this: we act as role models for our children so why not do the same for our dogs?
It’s a fact that we get much further in a human setting if our approach is open and friendly. That applies to interactions with our dogs. Whenever I lose my cool with Saffron and shout rudely at her to make her do something, invariably she goes off in the opposite direction. Obviously, she’s not going to approach me when I’m out of control as it could end badly for her. But, if I call her gently to me, no matter whether she’s being bold or otherwise, she’ll return to me immediately. I also tend to thank her whenever she does as I’ve asked. That sets the tone for us both. Yes, I expect her to return when called but I’m also acknowledging that she has freedom of choice. That’s respectful to her but she deserves a positive comment for doing as I asked.
Having said that, I can also deliberately excite her if I’m going to play with her.
All I have to do is act in an animated manner and she’s up for it. In the same way, I will speak calmly to finish it. She understands that too despite any reluctance to stop playing.
For me, the most important time to help any dog is in a stressful situation such as being confronted by an aggressive dog. It’s vital not to panic. Once we panic, we set a precedent for every time there’s a fraught situation and we fail to maintain our self control. As I said earlier, the onus is on us to lead by example and to protect our dogs just as we would our children. Once we show fear of whatever faces us, our own dog reacts badly too, either panicking as well or worse still feeling the need to protect us from the perceived danger.
Remember, dogs always do better when we lead by example.