Knowing that Christmas would be infused with bittersweet feelings of love and loss, I decided early in November to book a place on the new year ‘Good in the Beginning’ retreat at Dzogchen Beara. I needed and wanted a wholesome, purposeful turning towards 2026. What an insightful few days it was, a retreat that I would highly recommend at the turning of the year. Not only was it structured very well over the five days, but it was guided by a team of very wise and approachable teachers. We were served delicious, healthy meals and had plenty of time to walk, chat, or rest between sessions. The icing on the cake was being blessed with spectacular Winter sunlight from New Year’s Eve onwards. It was as if the grey skies for the first few days cleared as we let go of 2025 and set our aspirations for 2026.
The retreat teachers reminded us of how precious our human lives are and touched upon many Buddhist concepts like impermanence, and through contemplative practices even had us reflect on our own death, which was interesting. For me, this reinforced a desire to live life as fully as possible with an awareness of meaningful moments, and what really matters. It was deep, slow time, interspersed with periods of silence that I very much appreciated. There was no pressure at all, no judgement, no advice. My experience was one of sharing my human vulnerabilities with strangers, all on similar paths, whilst at the same time fuelling up on many great moments of connection and meaning with other precious human beings. I left with a real sense of gratitude, along with some welcome momentum and forward motion into this new year.
I found, at first, that I had great physical resistance to letting go of last year. I realised that I was gripping it tightly, hanging on for dear life. I’m not sure why, because it was an extremely difficult year, you’d imagine it would be easy to let it go. This was not the case, however, and the retreat itself was not always easy. Indeed, there were several times when I had an urge to just head off home, persuading myself that I had done enough or that I was tired, but the reality is that I wanted to run because something in the teaching or the practice had touched upon my own suffering and it hurt to stay. But it is by staying on our seat that we face life directly, be that pleasant or unpleasant thoughts, emotions, physical sensations. It was stirring but ultimately healing and I left holding things a bit more loosely.
I felt like a beginner at times, and that is what I love about meditation, it is never the same experience twice. Each time we sit is different, there is a newness to each experience because each moment is new, the past has gone, the future is not yet here, this moment is all we have. And what is here, now, in this moment, when you pay attention? Something I noticed physically was the amount of tension and soreness in my body, especially my shoulders and back, that I can’t remember being aware of prior to the retreat. My body feels a lot lighter and much less tense after the few days of softening into meditative practices and allowing the mind to rest in the body.
I truly believe that you come away from spending special, intentional time like this a better person than when you first arrive, leaving with a bit more compassion for yourself as well as for others. I generally love the fresh, new beginnings of this time of year and am going to attempt each day to live this precious human life to the best of my ability, moment by moment, taking each day as it comes, without being afraid to look inside, even if there’s discomfort, in the words of John O Donohue, I will have courage and “risk being disturbed and changed”.
“May my mind come alive today / To the invisible geography / That invites me to new frontiers, / To break the dead shell of yesterdays, / To risk being disturbed and changed…” / May I have the courage today / To live the life that I would love, / To postpone my dream no longer / But do at last what I came here for / And waste my heart on fear no more”.
Mindfulness in January
Drop-in mindfulness hour at CECAS, Myross Wood, Leap on Tuesday mornings 10-11am, January 13, 20 and 27. €12. Beginners, returners and newcomers are always welcome.
For more information: phone: 087 2700572 or email: susanoreganmindfulness@gmail.com
FB @ susanoreganmindfulness
www.mindhaven.ie
