By the time you are reading this, it will have been a few weeks since we experienced a storm that led to some flooding in Glengarriff village. On that day, I was standing looking out at the river behind the house, which was rapidly rising. I remember thinking to myself, “this is the highest I have ever seen the river”. That thought was swiftly followed by, “What if it breaks the bank and floods the house?” along with a physical tightness and slight holding of my breath. The ‘What If’ thinking appeared quickly and led me to a place of worst case scenario. If the house was flooded there would have been nothing I could have done to actually stop it. Yet, my mind went into the very human and common experience of catastrophising and overt thinking to try and solve something outside of my control that had not occurred yet.
There are many moments in life when the mind can, and often does, become a stage for catastrophe. One small uncertainty can spiral into vivid mental imagery of everything that could possibly go wrong. This is often called worst-case scenario thinking, catastrophising, end-of-world thinking or what some clients I have worked with describe as “a what-if spiral”. It’s a familiar pattern to recognise, thoughts such as “What if I fail?”, “What if they leave?” or “What if something terrible happens?”, can plague us and keep us awake at night. Though born from a wish to feel prepared or in control, this pattern often traps us in anxiety, self-criticism and paralysis. Often we might feel that we have to fix something with a pattern like this or that we are broken for experiencing such thoughts. In psychotherapy and counselling, worst-case scenario thinking can be viewed more holistically as an embodied and emotional experience that calls for understanding and exploration in the presence of relational safety. Beneath every catastrophic thought lies a part of the self that is trying, sometimes desperately, to protect us.
Richard Schwartz, the creator of Internal Family Systems (IFS), invites us to view catastrophising as communication in his book ‘No Bad Parts’. He reminds us that “all parts are welcome” and I often see this in my therapy practice too. Viewing over-thinking as a part of our psyche that is attempting to foresee danger, prevent shame or control the uncontrollable, can be very helpful. Just as helpful as that specific part thinks it is being by overthinking. Maybe that part was badly needed once upon a time during a particularly challenging or traumatising moment. Our parts usually learn to protect us in times when safety was uncertain or not present. From an IFS perspective, integration and relief can occur when we work on meeting our ‘What if?’ part with curiosity and compassion. This can facilitate movement from shame to understanding and self-acceptance.
With that said, catastrophising is not merely mental, it is also often experienced somatically. Dan Siegel, in his book ‘The Developing Mind’, describes the ‘Window of Tolerance’ as an optimal zone where we can think, feel and respond flexibly to our experience in any given moment. When our mind/body/nervous system senses danger, real or perceived, we can move outside this window into hyperarousal, feeling anxiety or intrusive thoughts for example, or hypoarousal, feeling numbness or disconnection for example.
Worst-case scenario thinking often emerges in hyperarousal. The mind races to anticipate threat because the body feels unsafe. The mind and body are always on the lookout for danger in our environment, this is how we have evolved and remained the dominant species on this planet. It is our default setting to spot danger. Yet, nowadays, there are no dangerous survival experiences in the wild. Rather, the danger is most often social or in our own mind. In this way, catastrophising can be seen as the mind’s attempt to make sense of bodily alarm. The nervous system activates, flooding the body with stress chemicals and experiencing energy and fear. Cognitive reassurance alone, such as telling oneself “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine”, rarely alters this state. What helps is most often co-regulation, the experience of being seen and soothed by another nervous system, in therapy that would be the nervous system of the therapist.
Here lies the profound importance of the therapeutic relationship. The therapist’s grounded presence, tone of voice and attuned empathy offer a neurobiological bridge back into the ‘Window of Tolerance’. Siegel writes that “integration begins with connection.” When a person attends therapy they can, possibly for the first time in a long time or ever, feel safe in relationship. The brain and body can reorganise, creating new neural pathways and learning to stop using the old ones, the brain is quite capable of this at any time of life. Over time, the opportunity to internalise this sense of safety, learning to self-soothe and re-enter the ‘Window of Tolerance’ without external support can be integrated.
A further component of integrating and overcoming catastrophic thinking is self-compassion. This can offer an antidote to the harsh inner dialogue that often fuels catastrophising. Kristin Neff, defines self-compassion as mindfulness, common humanity and self-kindness in her aptly titled book ‘Self Compassion’. Recognising one’s suffering and making moves to alleviate it for oneself is the definition of self compassion. When a person engages in worst-case scenario thinking, they often believe that self-criticism will keep them safe or motivated. Yet Neff’s writing shows that self-compassion, not self-judgment, fosters real change.
Approaching the catastrophising part with compassion might sound like internally saying, “I see that you’re scared and I understand why you worry. I notice you are trying to protect me”. This stance conveys warmth and patience in the face of distress. Through such a practice, one can begin to cultivate what Neff calls “a caring connected presence”. Instead of fighting against the anxious mind, we learn to soothe it. We begin to practice being gentleness with our humanity. In Neff’s words, “With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend”.
Thoughts are just that, thoughts. They truly only have power if we give them power. In his book ‘The Wise Heart’, Jack Kornfield writes that “the mind has a life of its own; our task is simply to begin again, and again and again”, in reference to the mindfulness skill of returning to noticing thoughts over and over. Yet, this knowledge is powerful for everyone regardless of mindfulness. Simply recognising a thought and noticing it can create space between us and our thoughts, reduces over-identifying. This embodies the Buddhist idea of “I am the thinker, not the thought itself”. Catastrophising minds often resist stillness and if we try to notice the ‘what ifs’ they can grow louder, sometimes unbearable. Yet, noticing the mind and thinking is not about silencing thoughts, rather, it is about relating to them differently. Seeing thoughts for what they are and letting them be just that, thoughts.
Ultimately, worst-case scenario thinking cannot be ‘fixed’ by logic alone. In fact, it does not need fixing as there is nothing broken in the first place. This type of challenging thinking can soften through relationship and willingness to experience life differently. A therapist can provide the relational experience of safety in which new experiences of calm and trust can emerge. If a person comes to therapy with a willingness to explore, even if that willingness is only a flicker at first, then the combination of these two things can be a recipe for change.
When I looked at the river out the back and thought “What if it breaks the bank and floods the house?”, I reminded myself that it was not happening now and noticed the thought for what it was. We can recognise that our mind, the power of our cognition in itself, is like the sky. Always present regardless of the weather that passes across it. Kornfield describes mindfulness as “loving awareness”, a quality of heart that sees everything with gentleness. This can be a powerful tool in therapy and in our daily lives.
For more information on Leo’s services, phone: 085 1300573, email: info@leomuckley.com. www.leomuckley.com. social media: @leomuckleypsychotherapy
