Alongside modern approaches to SAD, traditional systems of medicine offer another way of thinking about our relationship with the seasons. Across European herbal traditions, Ayurveda and Traditional Chinese Medicine, changes in light, sleep, digestion, energy and emotional balance have long been considered part of the seasonal cycle. Plants, food, daily rhythms, movement, rest and connection with the natural world have all played a role in supporting wellbeing through the darker months.

The Western herbal tradition, in particular, provides a rich language for understanding and responding to what might once have been described as winter melancholy. Rather than looking for a single plant to treat a condition, it considers the individual and their particular response to the season. Rosemary, lemon balm, lavender, oat tops, rose and St John’s wort are among the plants that have traditionally been associated with different aspects of winter wellbeing, while practices such as making the most of daylight, eating nourishing food, maintaining regular sleep, exercising and staying connected with others can also form part of a seasonal approach.

The question, therefore, is not simply, “What herb treats SAD?” but rather: what is this person’s particular winter pattern, and which plants and seasonal practices may support them?

European medicine historically described melancholy in relation to temperament, the passions, digestion, sleep and the movement of the vital spirits. In European traditional medicine, looking after oneself each season involved more than a single remedy. Warm food, exercise, daylight, companionship, prayer, work and rest were all part of maintaining health.

Rosemary: Rosemary (Salvia rosmarinus, formerly Rosmarinus officinalis) has a long history in European household medicine. It is associated with memory, alertness, digestion and circulation, and its aromatic character may suit a person who feels mentally dull, sluggish or disengaged during the darker months. In his recent research in Sao Paulo, Brazil, the psychiatrist, Dr. Ciro de Rhode noted that rosemary was the most used herb by people for low mood.

Rosemary can be incorporated into everyday life in a number of simple ways. It can be used as a culinary herb in soups, stews and roasted vegetables, or fresh sprigs can be included in an aromatic morning routine. Traditionally associated with remembrance, continuity and household care, rosemary can also be enjoyed as a herb tea.

Lemon balm, lavender and oat tops: Lemon balm (Melissa officinalis) has traditionally been used when emotional tension is accompanied by digestive discomfort or poor sleep whereas Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) may be considered for relaxation and nervous restlessness.

Oat tops (Avena sativa) also belong to the Western tradition of support for nervous exhaustion and convalescence. It is a useful herb when winter brings a sense of ‘running on empty’ rather than agitation. The best way to take oats is as porridge.

St John’s wort: St John’s wort (Hypericum perforatum) has a particularly evocative place in Western herbal culture. St John’s Eve falls on June 23, followed by the Feast of St John the Baptist on 24 June. These dates are close to midsummer, when the days are longest, and the plant commonly comes into flower.

Its bright yellow flowers seem to embody the sun at its height. The seasonal symbolism becomes even more striking in the Christian calendar: John the Baptist is the precursor of Christ, preparing the way for the light, while Christmas – the celebration of Christ’s birth – falls near the winter solstice, when darkness is greatest.

St John’s wort therefore flowers at the height of summer but can be gathered and preserved for the darker season. It becomes an image of carrying light into winter: a midsummer plant that anticipates darkness and offers, symbolically and medicinally, lightness within it. European traditions also associated it with protection, vitality and relief from melancholy.

However, St John’s wort is not a simple ‘natural antidepressant’ and can interact with many medications including hormonal contraceptives, warfarin, transplant medicines, anticonvulsants, some cancer and HIV medicines, and many other drugs. For this reason, it is not suitable for home use and needs to be prescribed by a herbalist. What can be used is Hypericum red oil. A few drops of this oil can be massaged into the soles of one’s feet after a shower and can be very relaxing.

Rose (Rosa damascena) is another beneficial herb from our tradition and  rose tea, rose water and culinary rose preparations can provide sensory pleasure, emotional comfort and a means of slowing down during a busy day.

A thoughtful approach to low mood in winter requires planning now. This might combine the use of herbs such as, rosemary, lemon balm, oat tops, and rose, into nourishing food and tea rituals. As the summer recedes and winter routines take its place it is vital to have regular sleep, movement exercises such as yoga, tai chi and qi gong, regular meetings with friends and a carefully planned run up to Christmas.

Talking therapy, light therapy and, where necessary, prescribed medicines may also be appropriate. The most important factor is to recognise the effect the onset of winter has on you and take appropriate steps now. 

I am seeing more and more patients who have been given a diagnosis of Functional Neurological Disorder (FND). It is given to those presenting with neurological symptoms like gait and balance issues, new speech problems, occasional paralysis of limbs, dysautonomia (problems with sympathetic /parasympathetic tone) and other neurological symptoms, which can be debilitating, causing fatigue, anxiety and an inability to concentrate. This is particularly significant for younger sufferers, as it can make school difficult and many are unable to attend.

From a medical point of view these symptoms are considered serious but often patients given this diagnosis have normal MRI findings and a reason for developing these symptoms is unclear.

One area that I focus on is the possibility that neuroinflammation is causing these symptoms, as neuroinflammation is hugely problematic but does not show up on blood tests, MRI or other commercially available scans.

What is neuroinflammation? When people think about the brain and what makes it work, the first thought is usually about neurons, which send electrical signals from the brain to instruct the body to function. There are also a number of specialist immune cells in the brain, which are incredibly important to this process. I would like to focus on one type of specialist immune cell called a microglial cell. These are dendritic cells, meaning they have arms and can move around the brain and their job is to clear debris from neurons and support how they function.  When microglial cells become activated, either by an injury like concussion or after an infection in the upper respiratory tract of the inner ear, they switch from their normal role, and some become inflammatory and others anti-inflammatory.  After this transformation they are unable to switch back to their normal resting state. When these cells become inflammatory they have a negative effect on how neurons work.

The mechanisms of neuroinflammation are influenced by diet, nutrition, lifestyle and combined with specific neurological exercises an important part of recovering from FND.

There are two reasons why diet might be important. The first is to do with energy and the other the triggering of the immune system. The brain needs a steady supply of glucose and an abundance of oxygen – without these it struggles to function well, even when we are in good health. So a steady glucose supply and abundance of oxygen becomes very, very important for those with FND. Neurons require a large amount of energy to function and it gets this from stable blood glucose – what this means in practice is that skipping meals and eating a diet that is high in processed foods and sugars makes blood sugar unstable, making it very hard to recover.

The second reason is to do with immune responses. The immune system throughout the body uses signalling molecules. When you get an infection, these signalling molecules will start to circulate in your system and prime or up-regulate certain responses and, if the microglial cells in your brain are in a primed state, this can switch them into an inflammatory mode and make the symptoms of FND worse. Infections are not the only trigger for the immune system – certain chemicals, airborne toxins and even certain foods can trigger responses in the immune system.

Specific exercises may also help. The human body is an amazing self healing organism.  I am sure many of you have had a broken bone or had stitches after an operation or injury.  If you have broken a bone, part of your recovery will include exercises to get the joint moving properly to help return to full range of motion and function. The same is true of the brain. It is possible to use functional neurology testing to get an idea of which parts of the brain are affected and rehab with focused exercises that support these areas, improving blood flow and strengthening neurons. It is important when working with someone who has FND to get this right, as if you over-stimulate a particular area you can make symptoms worse, so a very measured approach, increasing exercises over time, has the best result.

Eoin Roe is a chiropractor and functional neurology specialist working is Skibbereen. Get in touch through the website www.roehealth.ie or call and leave a message on 028 62081.

So rather than waiting until everyone is exhausted and passing bugs around the house, September is a good time to put a few simple health habits back in place.

One of my favourite autumn health challenges is to see how many different plant foods I can fit into a week. We all know that vegetables and fruit are good for us, but variety matters too. Plant foods provide us with fibre, vitamins, minerals, polyphenols and a huge range of other compounds, while different types of plants also provide food for different members of our gut microbiome.

The often-quoted target is 30 different plant foods a week. But don’t panic – we’re not talking about 30 different vegetables! Beans, lentils, wholegrains, nuts, seeds, herbs and spices all count.

Oats count. Chickpeas count. Walnuts count. Garlic, ginger and parsley count. Berries count. If you’re curious, try writing down every different plant food you eat over the course of a week. You might be surprised at how quickly they add up – or, equally, how easy it is to fall into the same handful of foods every week.

There is fascinating research around plant diversity and the gut microbiome, including work from the American Gut Project which found an association between eating a greater variety of plants and having a more diverse gut microbiome.

30 isn’t a magic number and it certainly isn’t a limit – my goal is to try and exceed it – and some weeks that’s really easy. But it gives me a focus on variety (particularly in terms of vegetables) and that feels like the right thing to be focussing on. 

A few extra vegetables in your soup, some seeds and berries on your breakfast, beans in your dinner and fresh herbs scattered over your meals can make a surprisingly big difference – both to flavour and to your health! 

If you want to add a little extra variety on a week that’s not flowing well, there are some interesting liquid preparations available in your local Health Food Shop 

One new one that has caught my eye is Salus One Essence, from the makers of Floradix. It contains 67 different aqueous extracts of herbs, fruits and vegetables, alongside added vitamins and minerals.

The ingredient list is certainly unusual. Alongside familiar foods such as broccoli, spinach and artichoke, there are ingredients that most of us probably don’t eat very often – including walnut leaf, gentian root, black carrot, lavender flower, rosehip peel and green oat herb.

Obviously, I’m not suggesting that drinking One Essence means you can tick 67 plants off your weekly list and forget about eating vegetables! But I do like the idea of a broad range of plant extracts as an addition to an already varied diet – a nice healthy top-up. 

And there are two other liquids I’ve been reaching for this autumn. Zell Oxygen Plus and Immunocomplex, from Dr Wolz, are liquid nutritional preparations containing combinations of nutrients and plant-based ingredients.

Zell Oxygen Plus is designed as nutritional support, containing vitamins, minerals and other nutrients involved in normal energy metabolism – this is a good one to think of if someone is recuperating and needs a ‘tonic’ to put some pep back into their step. 

Immunocomplex contains a combination of nutrients and plant-based ingredients, including beta glucans, and is aimed at supporting normal immune function – I reach for this one when I’m feeling under the weather and really don’t want to get sick. 

Of course, there’s no magic bullet. The basics still matter most – eating plenty of plants, moving your body, getting outside during daylight, prioritising sleep and making time for the people and things that make you feel well.

Which brings me neatly to another area of health that we’re becoming increasingly interested in: the relationship between what we eat and how we feel.

‘Food, Mood and the Amazing Gut-Brain Connection’ – Marilyn Glenville at Organico 

We are very excited to be hosting a new talk this year with renowned author and nutritionist Marilyn Glenville. Marilyn has been coming to Bantry to give talks on Women’s Health for many years. This year she is coming to give a different talk, one on using your diet to help balance mood and help us all to keep our brains as healthy as possible. 

We’ve always understood that food affects our physical health, but we’re learning more about the fascinating relationship between our diet, our mood, our energy, our concentration, our sleep – and the health of our brains.

At the heart of the talk is the fascinating gut-brain connection. Our gut contains trillions of microorganisms and researchers are discovering more all the time about the relationship between our gut microbiome, our nervous system and our mental wellbeing.

And this isn’t simply a subject for people experiencing mental health difficulties. It’s relevant to all of us. For teenagers, nutrition can be part of supporting energy, concentration and wellbeing during the pressures of school and exams. For busy adults, it can be about maintaining energy and resilience when life feels relentless. And as we get older, supporting memory and brain health becomes increasingly important.

Marilyn will also look at nutrition in relation to ADHD and autism, looking at how food and lifestyle can form part of an overall approach to supporting focus, energy and wellbeing.

She will explore the close connection between the gut and the brain, and how food can influence mood, energy and concentration. She will look at the effects of blood sugar highs and lows, hidden sugars in everyday foods and the key nutrients needed to support brain health. The discussion will also examine the relationship between food, stress, sleep and mood, what we are learning about gut bacteria and mental wellbeing, and the role of nutrition in ADHD and autism. Marilyn will consider why some diets may leave us feeling worse rather than better, while offering simple ways to support focus, energy and emotional wellbeing, as well as maintaining brain health and memory at every age.

There will also be plenty of opportunity to ask Marilyn questions during the evening, including one-to-one questions at the end.

Dr Marilyn Glenville PhD – Nutrition, Mental Health & Wellbeing: The Amazing Connection Between Your Mind, Body, Food and Mood: Monday, October 5, 6.30pm-9pm. Upstairs at Organico, Bantry. Tickets €20

Your ticket also includes €10 redeemable against purchases on the night, tea and coffee during the interval, and the opportunity to ask Marilyn your questions. There will also be 20 per cent off products purchased at the seminar.

Places are limited, so book your ticket through www.organico.ie and come along. We’d love to see you there.

by Niamh Cooper, Melissa Byrne & Gillian Hegarty

West Cork’s hedgerows are full of blackberries at the moment, ripening away in that seemingly endless sunshine we’ve just had. If you haven’t been out yet to pick them, grab your nearest bowl or bucket and head down the quiet country lanes. You should still find loads!

Blackberry-picking has been a rite of late summer for generations, and it inspired one of Ireland’s most famous poems, Seamus Heaney’s ‘Blackberry-Picking’. The poem captures that particular thrill of filling a container with fruit, and the small disappointment days later when the haul doesn’t keep as well as you’d hoped. It’s well worth reading if you haven’t come across it, especially when you’re out blackberry-picking yourself.

Turning your pickings into jam or compôte is how people have solved the problem Heaney wrote about – and that way, you’ll be able to eat blackberries well into the winter months. A great way to prepare for this is to pick small container-fulls at a time, and freeze the berries that day. Before you know it, you’ll have enough for a batch of jam or compôte.

You can make either compôte or jam with your haul of blackberries. But what is the difference?

Compote is chunkier, less sweet, and is cooked for less time, so the fruit holds more of its shape and flavour. 

Jam is cooked longer with a lot more sugar, often close to equal weight to fruit, until it sets and is firm enough to spread on toast. It keeps for months. 

Blackberry and apple compôte 

You will need an adult to help with the hot pan, the oven, and pouring the finished compôte into jars.

Ingredients

• 900g blackberries

• 450g cooking apples (Bramley apples work well)

• 450g granulated sugar

Method

Put a small plate in the fridge to chill. Sterilise your jam jars in the oven at 100ºC/gas mark 1/4.

Peel, core and slice the apples.

Stew the apples in a saucepan with two tablespoons of water until soft.

In a separate saucepan, cook the blackberries with 50ml of water until soft. Skip the water if using frozen berries.

Crush the blackberries with a potato masher if you’d like a smoother compôte. Add the sugar and cooked apple, and stir until the sugar has fully dissolved.

Bring the compôte to the boil and let it bubble for about 15 minutes.

Now it’s time to test it: spoon a little compôte onto your chilled plate and pop it back in the fridge for a minute. Push the compôte gently with your finger. If the surface wrinkles, your compôte is ready.

Stir in a small knob of butter to help clear any scum from the fruit.

Carefully ladle your compôte into the sterilised jars and seal with lids that have been boiled and dried.

Follow us for more news about our cooking and gardening workshops in West Cork schools: Instagram: @kidsfoodrevolution. Newsletter: kidsfoodrevolution.substack.com. www.kidsfoodrevolution.com.

As the blackberry season is upon us, it’s time to take a walk, and don’t forget the containers. The blackberry season offers us the ideal opportunity to fill our faces with this juicy fruit ,as we wander along the hedgerows. I always think that if it’s a serious picking session, it’s best to eat before setting out, as this guarantees double the harvest, especially if there are small children involved. 

Blackberries are high in antioxidants and vitamin C. They have been used since Greek and Roman times as a remedy for sore throats, gout and whooping cough and are also claimed to reduce brain inflammation and memory loss. When you read the list of healthy attributes you realise we should all be out there picking, future-proofing our immune systems. Blackberries offer more vitamin C and antioxidants than blueberries, so it would be a good idea to  fill our freezers full for the winter, ready to make smoothies, muffins, cakes and so on. There’s an endless list of recipes. The other important fact is that they free!

Pick the best blackberries, nothing soggy or damaged. If they are perfectly ripe they will come away from the stem with a gentle pull. Containers work better than bags to put them in as this prevents them from getting squashed, which is quite important as, apart from spoiling the fruit, one thing I didn’t mention above is that they can also be used as a dye.

Folklore has it that blackberries shouldn’t be picked after Michaelmas day on October 11 as the devil (puca) has made them unfit to eat by spitting, stepping or fouling on them. I don’t know about the devil but it makes sense to pick them in good condition, so gather your containers and get out there while they are juicy and plump.

There are so many ways to use blackberries – apart from just popping them in your mouth – that we are spoilt for choice. When we had our restaurant, many moons ago, I used to make a blackberry delice, which was a posh sponge with blackberry mousse on top. The sponge is a bit of a faff so I’ve downscaled the recipe to just mousse, which makes a sublime dessert with less effort.

This recipe made eight small mousses, I fill small glasses, which look quite elegant but bowls would be good too. You could of course make bigger portions in bowls – I don’t think there would be any problem eating them, as we had no problem eating ours. They will keep in the fridge for two to three days. You can of course halve the amount of ingredients and make less.

Gelatine is available in leaf form in the baking section of most of the big supermarkets. It is easier to use than the powder form. The leaves I used were roughly 12cm x 7cm, which seems to be the standard size these days – they used to be much bigger so, just to avoid any confusion, I thought I’d mention that. Just soak the gelatine in cold water for a few minutes to soften it. Don’t use hot water as it will dissolve.

Blackberry Mousse

Ingredients

• 450g blackberries

• 4 eggs, separated

• 300mls cream

• 4 leaves gelatine

• 125g sugar

• Juice of half a lemon

Fill a bowl with cold water and slip the gelatine leaves in. Leave aside.

Put the blackberries, 25g sugar and the juice of half a lemon into a liquidiser, food processor or jug with hand held blender and buzz until smooth.

Pour the blackberry puree into a sieve and pass through with the help of a spoon or spatula. Discard all the pips.

Put the egg yolks into a bowl with 75g sugar. Whisk until the yolks become paler and the whisk leaves a trace. The cream should now be coming to the boil.

Put the cream into a saucepan then heat gently. When the cream reaches boiling point slowly whisk it onto the yolk mixture. Put the yolk/cream mix back into the saucepan and heat gently, stirring all the time. Don’t rush this. The mix will slowly thicken a little as the heat increases but whatever you do don’t let it boil as the yolks will scramble. Err on the side of caution. Take the mix off the heat and pour into a large bowl. Take the softened gelatine out of the water and stir it into the mix. The gelatine will dissolve. Stir the blackberry puree through.

In another large clean bowl whisk the egg whites to soft peaks (good and frothy but not solid) then add 25g sugar and continue whisking until the whites are stiff and hold up.

Tip one third of the whisked egg whites onto the blackberry custard and gently fold through with a large metal spoon or spatula. IT doesn’t have to be perfectly mixed, add the rest of the whites in two lots and gently fold through again. `Do not stir or you will knock all the air out. When properly mixed pour the blackberry mix into glasses or bowls. 

Chill for four hours to set before eating. 

Decorate with a splotch of whipped cream and a few blackberries.

Enjoy the autumn.

It was a moment for all of West Cork when Carbery defeated Muskerry in the McCarthy Insurance Group Premier SFC Divisions/Colleges seeded section final at Páirc Uí Rinn and claimed the Derry Gowen Cup. The divisional side was made up of clubs stretched across the region, and it was O’Donovan Rossa’s Gene O’Donovan who put all the pieces together and got the win on a sun soaked evening. Carbery had to do it the hard way, as their semi-final appearance involved a thrilling victory over Duhallow on a night decided by St. Mary’s Olan Corcoran fisting over the bar in the dying seconds. Muskerry proved to be a more straight forward affair, as O’Donovan’s players’ outscored their near rivals 2-23 to 2-15 with nine different purple and yellow jerseys finding the target. Their reward is a place in the preliminary quarter finals of the Cork Premier Senior Football Championship in August, with University College Cork lined up for the West Cork divisional side. O’Donovan isn’t thinking that far ahead. He is simply celebrating what has already been achieved by Carbery in 2026, the coach tells Dylan O’Connell.

“I’m feeling good…. I’m feeling very good,” Gene O’Donovan says.

“Look, the boys, the boys, we didn’t challenge them. They challenged themselves. I say very little in the dressing room. I just thank them for coming and things like that.

“You know, Haulie O’Sullivan does a lot of the work. Haulie does a lot of the work there with the coaching side of things.

“Normally I just coach, but this is a manager’s job I took on this year when I was asked. I was with Carbery just pre-COVID. There’s just too much history in Carbery not to want to be in this job.

“I had been in with Tim Buckley a few years ago and Tim kind of persuaded me. I’m involved with a lot of teams as well but I love this bunch.”

Carbery is a special operation, as the divisional team pulls in players from across the West Cork and the goal is to build a winning team in a very short window. The complete unit only plays a handful of games a year, with the goal to qualify for the knockout stages of the Cork Premier Senior Football Championship where there is a chance to win the Andy Scannell Cup.

The stakes of their operation get bigger and bigger with every game, and there’s absolutely no room for error.

Divisional sides’ recent record in football is a testament to that as Duhallow from North Cork in 2019 are the last team of its kind to reach the final, and Carbery were the last to claim the county champions title after a victory over Bishopstown in 2004.

O’Donovan knows full well what goes into running and managing a divisional team, the hardest part of the job is the balancing act as they try to fit in training and matches around club activity.

Fortunately for Carbery, they have a coach in charge that knows exactly what to do those situations.

“It just comes together,” O’Donovan explained.

“Believe it or not, there are no phone calls. There is none, and people won’t believe that.

“The first thing we said when we spoke to the clubs was that we’re not bringing the lads in to flah them out, for the simple reason that they’re doing enough strength and conditioning and fitness in their own clubs.

“And you can see they are a fit group, you know, and we put that challenge to the clubs to keep them fit so that they’d be playing at the higher level as, you know, a lot of these players are coming from Junior A and Intermediate, like, so this is senior A level as far as I’m concerned. The next one would be, you’re going up to senior premier if you beat UCC.

“So yeah, there is not a lot of organising. WhatsApp, text them. Are you available? If they say yes, you bring them out. Give us 25 players and we’ll put a team together.”

The star attraction in their run to lift the Derry Gowen Cup was Bantry Blues and Cork star Ruairi Deane, who featured in the Duhallow game just days after losing to Mayo in the All-Ireland Senior Football Championship quarter finals at Croke Park.

The 35-year-old appeared and almost ran the show at Páirc Uí Rinn against Duhallow, he even got a much needed goal for Carbery to give the divisional side a 3-16 to 0-16 advantage in the 54th minute.

The 10-year veteran of intercounty football repeated this against Muskerry, on a night where his team stormed in front and comfortable held their northern rivals at arm’s length.

To O’Donovan, Deane is a model professional that has plenty left to offer for his club, division, and county.

“That only took one message,” he explained and smiled.

“That only took one message to Ruairi from one of our selectors, John Dineen, and Ruairi did not turn us down. John was a bit confused about it and he asked him, was he coming with his gear? And he said ‘yes, I am playing.’ 

“It only took one message, to see was Ruairi okay for the Muskerry game. ‘Yeah, I’ll be there’ That’s it, and that’s the man he is. He’s in great shape. Do you know what I mean? After a long season with Cork, I think there’s another couple of days left in Ruairi Deane.”

O’Donovan, Deane, and Carbery are now preparing to play UCC in the preliminary quarter finals of the Cork Premier Senior Football Championship.

That’s their next objective as a group, and it is well known around the panel and West Cork clubs.

Anything can happen now, with the championship in full swing and games coming thick and fast as summer turns to autumn.

Whatever comes their way, Carbery are winners with a trophy to show for it and that’s the most important thing.

In May this year, I had a really enjoyable time attending the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s (BACP) 32nd Annual BACP International Research Conference, which was titled ‘Collaboration for a just society – Multidisciplinary research in counselling and mental health’. The conference took place in London and ran across a few days. I was also very grateful to have had the opportunity to present my published research at the conference. To stand on stage and present my work to an audience of peers was very invigorating but also somewhat nerve-wracking, naturally enough. I was presenting my research along with some people who I have been inspired by over the years, so in many ways it felt like I was standing on the shoulders of giants.

The presentation itself was recorded, which I recently had time to watch. I watched it from a position of reflexivity, with the intention of seeing myself through as much of an objective lens as possible. I always find it somewhat unsettling to watch myself but also very helpful. In this case I used a simple and effective framework called The Johari Window to take notes, which provided me the ability to bring different aspects of my experience into my awareness, including things I had not been aware of previously. 

The Johari Window is one of many models for understanding ourselves in relation to our self, others and the world around us. Developed by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in 1955, it offers a framework for exploring self-awareness, communication and interpersonal relationships. The principles of its use are very relevant to psychotherapy because they invite curiosity about what is known, hidden, misunderstood and yet to be discovered within our experience. As Luft wrote in his book ‘Of Human Interaction’ in 1969, “There are things known to us and known to others, things unknown to us but known to others, things known to us but not to others, and things unknown both to us and to others.” This simple idea reflects the complexity of being human.

The model consists of four quadrants within an overall square. The ‘Open Area’ represents aspects of ourselves that are known both to us and to others. The ‘Hidden Area’ contains experiences, thoughts and feelings that we know but choose not to disclose. The ‘Blind Area’ consists of qualities that others perceive but that remain outside of our own awareness. Finally, the ‘Unknown Area’ represents untapped potential and unconscious processes or experiences that neither we nor others have yet to recognise. Rather than viewing these quadrants as fixed categories, the Johari Window encourages us to see them as fluid. This is very reflective of how we grow and develop over time.

Our understanding of ourselves is shaped through interaction with other people, and equally, our relationships are influenced by what we reveal, conceal, ignore and discover. This idea echoes Carl Rogers’ – an American Psychologist and one of the founders of Humanistic Psychology, assertion, in his 1954 book titled ‘On Becoming A Person’ – that “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Acceptance more often than not creates the conditions for greater openness, both intra-personally, in relation to one’s self, and interpersonally, in relation to others. Within the Johari Window, this can be understood as gradually enlarging the ‘Open Area’ through honest self-reflection and authenticity. 

The ‘Open Area’ is perhaps the space most associated with psychological wellbeing. When people are able to express thoughts, emotions and needs authentically, relationships tend to become characterised by greater transparency and mutual understanding. This does not imply indiscriminate self-disclosure. More-so, it suggests developing the confidence to communicate in ways that feel safe and appropriate. When I was watching the recording of myself, I noticed a striving for authenticity throughout, as I shared my thoughts and emotions and my behaviour aligned with that. It led to a feeling of ease in the moment and this reinforces to me to continue striving for authenticity at all times, even in the nerve-wracking presentation moments! In therapy, the relationship itself often becomes a place where this process can unfold or even be experienced for the first time. A person attending therapy can begin to feel psychologically safe, frequently disclose experiences that have remained hidden for years and, as a result, allow those experiences to be witnessed, understood and integrated.

The Hidden Area refers to the fact that everyone carries parts of themselves that remain private. When I was rewatching my presentation, I noticed that I appeared quite calm, I even received feedback from some people in the audience afterwards that I came across very well. Yet, that didn’t quite match what was happening privately for me at certain moments. I experienced moments of stress and even anxiousness during the presentation and, using this framework, I can see now that was hidden. It was hidden, as it was not relevant to what was happening, but it may have been useful for me to recognise those things in the moment, even privately, as they would have not felt so intense if I did.

Sometimes what we keep in the ‘Hidden Area’ are simply personal preferences or memories, while at other times they reflect shame, fear or experiences of trauma. Many people arrive in therapy having spent years protecting these hidden aspects of themselves, often because disclosure once carried significant emotional or relational risk. These protective strategies are understandable attempts to remain safe. Therapy, therefore, does not seek to eliminate the ‘Hidden Area’, the endeavour can be more about creating sufficient safety for clients to decide whether keeping something hidden continues to serve them.

The ‘Blind Area’ highlights another important dimension of therapeutic work. While watching myself talk and joke on the stage, I realised that I do not see myself clearly at all. I watched myself moving about the stage and translating my research into easy-to-understand concepts linked to what therapists experience in their practices every day. In more simple terms, I don’t give myself enough grace and recognise my strengths…which are hard to ignore when they are on a recording! This was a blind spot, in the ‘Blind Area’, for me, which was useful to see and recognise for myself and my own development and growth. Whereas, when people say these things to me as feedback, I usually don’t fully believe them or give the feedback much weight.

Objective non-judgemental feedback, for lack of a better word, can be an essential mechanism for growth. Within therapy, such feedback is offered with empathy, congruence and unconditional positive regard, reducing the likelihood that it will be experienced as criticism. What emerges between therapist and client may illuminate relational patterns that exist outside the therapy room that can be curiously and gently addressed offering clients the opportunity to reflect upon themselves.

The ‘Unknown Area’ captures the greatest sense of hope within the Johari Window. It acknowledges that every person possesses capacities and possibilities that have yet to emerge. In many cases, for clients coming to therapy, those capabilities may have been buried deeply under life experiences and a bit of excavating can reveal them. When I watched the recording of the conference, I noticed that for the first couple of minutes I was staring at my slides while speaking but I then naturally moved into looking at the audience. I wasn’t aware of this but now I have had time to reflect, I see how that was part of me moving from feeling safe into becoming comfortable in that experience. Useful information for myself moving forward that I would not have known otherwise, and nobody else has ever commented on to date, which will serve me in future. The beauty of The Johari Window, and therapy, is having a chance to look at oneself without judgement and potentially grow into the fullest version of one’s self as result, and what a gift that truly is.

Universally renowned meditation teacher Jon Kabat Zinn wrote a book called ‘Wherever you go, there you are,’ a revealing title for many of us, because even though our bodies might be lying on a sunny beach in Allihies, our mind may have taken us off into the future or back to the past. To learn to bring our mind home to where our physical body is can be such a useful skill, in moments of joy, social awkwardness, indeed any moment at all. Even saying to yourself ‘I am here now’ helps to come back from old stories or thought spirals. My own mindfulness practices these days have a strong focus on taking in the good, and soaking up these bright, spacious days that seem to have no end. And a practice of gratitude, gratitude, gratitude for all the blessings of the past year.

I love the real wholesome goodness and simplicity of this remote place and my growing appreciation of the life that is developing here for me. There is no price to be put on peace of mind and that is precisely what these spacious and wise landscapes support. Reflecting on last summer, how different it feels to this moment, as I was only beginning then to piece the broken shell of myself together.  This looking back can help us as we make our way forward, as we learn to shoulder our grief, and manage the other associated, layered, often unspoken or unexpected losses. Reflecting back is helpful now and then, it doesn’t mean we need to languish in the past, rather, to reflect helps us make sense of what’s happening now. It can be so encouraging to look back and see how far we’ve come.  

A beautiful friend came to visit recently; it was so lovely to spend a few days with her and her lovely doggie. I was surprised, but loved it so much, when she casually asked me, “How is your grief?” The integrity, directness, presence and care of the question was quite unusual but so very welcome, like a cooling glass of water on a hot day. I could take a breath, feel my way towards an answer, no rush, she was waiting and would listen. She had opened the door, given me permission.  How rare and precious that is. This friend knows deep grief and loss too and maybe you need to reach those depths in yourself before you can hold space for another, I don’t know.  

I love when everything in my life is positive, who doesn’t? But that is not the reality of life for most of us. So, I prefer to practice being with what’s real instead of constant, almost forced, positivity, and that is precisely what mindfulness meditation teaches us, to deal with what is happening in the present moment, no matter what it is. We are encouraged to turn towards it, whether it is a joyful feeling, a sad or a critical one, or a feeling of gratitude. Reality is truth and constant positivity does not open the space to ask, “how is your grief?” Because when you ask a question like that you need the capacity and the grace to hear the answer. The opening it offered and conversation that followed was in the moment, it didn’t take from our weekend in any way, in fact it enriched it, with so many feelings co-existing side by side. My kind friend asking a simple but brave question made the world of difference to me, asking those hard questions is an act of love and shows you care enough in this busy life to wait for and hear an answer.

Mindfulness meditation by the sea in the Sarah Walker Gallery, Castletownbere as part of Festival of the Sea on August 1, 11am -12pm and 1-2pm.

Please keep in touch: 087 2700572 or email: susanoreganmindfulness@gmail.com 

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I hope, given all the exceptionally good weather we have had this summer, that you have all had a chance to relax and reap its benefits. The glorious sunshine should really set up our vitamin D stores for the coming winter. 

But what if you are finding that despite the long sunny days you are finding yourself unable to relax? That much as you might appreciate the sunshine, something in you won’t or can’t relax and let go? And you notice you can’t enjoy it as much as you might wish to, perhaps you feel a bit emotionally flat or somewhat agitated and unable to focus. 

If depression has been ruled out by a medical or mental health professional, then consider that your symptoms could be stemming from burnout.

Burnout is defined by the WHO as energy depletion and chronic dysregulation of the stress response systems. It is a disruption of the HPA axis (Hypothalamic, adrenal, pituitary axis) which is responsible for controlling your cortisol energy circulation, which in turn regulates your sleep/wake cycle and your capacity to recover from normal stresses. 

When the HPA axis becomes compromised our blood sugar becomes unstable and we lose our ability to generate energy efficiently. Our immune system may become compromised, our cognitive functioning may be challenged and our cardiovascular system may begin to show signs of chronic stress.

Burnout is not something that happens overnight and largely stems from tiny, repeated poor behaviours and habits that we will address here.

It is not an excess of the stress hormone, cortisol, that causes burnout, though you might be forgiven for thinking that this is the case. We need cortisol, as by triggering our Fight/Flight nervous system response, it has ensured our survival as a species. 

The issue is not that this hormone floods the system, but that a phenomenon known as ‘cortisol rhythm collapse’ occurs. Our cortisol is not too high; the problem is that it is flat and does not fluctuate in a natural daily rhythm. 

We should ideally have high levels in the morning to help us wake up and get up, and declining levels in the evening so melatonin levels can rise and we can switch off and sleep with varying oscillations throughout the day as normal stresses and challenges arise. 

‘Flat’ levels of cortisol, with no real rise or fall means your body cannot distinguish between wakefulness and sleepiness, stress and rest, action and recovery and this is where we feel both ‘wired and tired’. 

When we are in burnout, we are constantly ‘borrowing’ energy from external stimulants rather than utilising and replenishing our own resources. So, we use caffeine to wake up, sugar for energy, alcohol to relax, screens for dopamine and so on and so forth. 

We are stimulating ourselves into being and there is very little we will not use as an outsource to function if our system is dysregulated. We are, after all, very inventive creatures, wired to survive. 

The problem is the more you borrow from the outside, the greater the internal debt, and the more you borrow, the more you need to borrow, just to feel normal.

Signs we might be experiencing burnout are: emotional flatness, agitation or inability to focus, feeling tired but unable to relax, reliance on stimulants, blood sugar crashes, always feeling switched on, feeling tired despite sleep, feeling disconnected from enjoyable experiences. 

Those with heavy workloads, those experiencing stressful life events and women in perimenopause/menopause are particularly vulnerable to burnout. 

So how can we mitigate against these symptoms of burnout? Well, just as small regular poor habits or patterns lead to burnout so small regular good habits can help restore our balance and wellbeing.

It is important that we take the time to gently recalibrate, it is small actions that make the difference and not major resets or extreme measures.

Simple rules

Do not skip meals: When blood sugar drops, cortisol will spike to compensate in the short term, which is why we can get ‘hangry’ and while this is tolerable for someone with a healthy HPA axis where cortisol naturally oscillates, it is not advisable for those of us with burnout. 

It is for this reason that Intermittent Fasting is not always advisable for menopausal women or people with burnout. 

A good idea is to ensure you eat protein with your first meal of the day, whether that’s eating eggs for breakfast or popping nuts and seeds and Greek yogurt on your porridge. Make sure you don’t load your system with sugary choices or simple carbohydrates in the morning so you can start your day with good blood sugar stability. 

Try to reduce the reliance on caffeine in all its myriad forms and eliminate alcohol if you are using it to relax.

Regulate sleep: Sleeping and waking at the same time daily is associated with longevity and it is vital in managing the symptoms of burnout. 

Get out of bed in the same 40-minute window of waking every day, and get light within an hour of waking to help set up your circadian rhythm. Avoid all screens for an hour prior to sleep. 

I’m an advocate for practising a gentle stretching routine followed by meditation before bedtime – it’s a great way to wind down.

Gentle exercise after eating: Going for a short walk after eating (within 10-20 minutes of eating) is a great way to regulate blood sugar so we can offset insulin spikes. 

Regular movement breaks also during your day are recommended whether it’s a bit of jumping up and down and shaking, or dancing, or a specific exercise routine.

Burnout doesn’t resolve overnight and, as exhausted as we may feel, making radical change is rarely what our system needs, tempting though it may be. What restores us is consistency and compassion — small, steady habits that gradually rebuild our internal rhythm and remind the body how to feel safe, rested, and energised again. 

The three tenets of health — sleep, movement, and nourishment — are our anchors. By supporting your blood sugar, honouring your sleep-wake cycle, and moving gently and regularly, you begin to repay that internal energy debt and reconnect with yourself. 

These small acts of self-care signal to your system that it can finally exhale. With time, patience, and simple daily practices, the ‘wired and tired’ feeling softens, and your natural vitality has space to return. 

Innovation in beauty isn’t always about the latest trend, it’s often found in thoughtful formulations, well-researched ingredients and products designed to solve real concerns. This month’s Beauty Edit showcases a selection of exciting new launches, including some Irish brands, spanning skincare, haircare, bodycare and makeup, each offering something a little different.

EYRA Hair Ritual Set Fine Hair (€70): Created by internationally recognised hairstylist Aidan Darcy, EYRA is an Irish haircare brand born from more than 15 years of experience in editorial, celebrity and luxury bridal styling. Rather than taking a one-size-fits-all approach, the range is thoughtfully formulated around hair density – fine, medium and thick, making it easier to choose products that truly suit your hair’s needs. The Fine Hair Ritual Set pairs the lightweight Awaken Shampoo with the nourishing Restore Conditioner to cleanse, hydrate and enhance natural volume without weighing hair down. The formulas combine ingredients including hydrolysed keratin, hydrolysed wheat protein, provitamin B5, aloe vera and nettle, along with nourishing jojoba and castor seed oils to help support healthy-looking hair, softness and shine. While beautifully presented as a ritual set, each product can also be purchased individually €38), giving you the flexibility to tailor your routine. The range is also available in dedicated collections for medium and thick hair, making EYRA a thoughtful, personalised approach to everyday haircare. Available online from eyrahair.com

Yon-Ka Retinol-Like Serum (€129): Retinoids remain one of the most researched ingredients in skincare for improving the appearance of fine lines, uneven texture and loss of firmness, but they aren’t always suitable for everyone. The new Retinol-Like Serum from Yon-Ka offers a gentle alternative, using naturally derived actives designed to deliver many of the visible benefits associated with retinol while remaining comfortable, even on sensitive skin.

Its lightweight dual-phase formula combines Yon-Ka’s exclusive [RE]NEW Technology with naturally derived retinol-like ingredients to help support skin renewal, soften the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, refine the look of pores and improve overall skin texture. With 99.8% ingredients of natural origin and a fast-absorbing texture, it’s an excellent option for anyone looking to introduce age-supporting skincare into their routine, particularly if they’ve found traditional retinol difficult to tolerate. As always, consistency is key, and don’t forget to apply a broad-spectrum SPF every morning when using any product designed to support skin renewal. Available online from yonka.ie Yon-Ka stockists nationwide.

Hildun Peptide Lip Balms (€26): Founded by Irish makeup artist Suzy Griffin, Hildun Beauty has teamed up with renowned makeup artist Hannah Martin to launch a beautiful new collection of Peptide Lip Balms. Two years in the making, the formula has been carefully developed to deliver the perfect balance of lip care and colour in one easy step. Enriched with peptides, shea butter and vitamin E, the ultra-smooth balm helps nourish and condition the lips while providing long-lasting hydration and a comfortable, non-sticky shine. Delicate light-reflecting micro pearls create a soft, multidimensional shimmer, and each celestial-inspired shade offers a flattering wash of colour. Choose from Starr, a rich brown shimmer, Lyra, a soft pink shimmer, or Astrid, a beautiful peachy shimmer. Available individually (€26) or as a trio for €73, these versatile balms are perfect worn alone or layered over your favourite lip liner and lipstick. They are sure to become your makeup bag staple. Available online from hildunbeauty.com and Hildun Beauty stockists nationwide. 

Skinician Multi-Peptide Ceramide Complex Sheet Mask & Serum (5 Pack, €75): This innovative treatment from Skinician is much more than a traditional sheet mask. Combining an intensive peptide and ceramide-infused sheet mask with a companion serum, it has been designed as a dual-phase treatment to deliver both immediate results and continued support for the skin long after the mask has been removed.

Rather than providing a one-off boost of hydration, it’s designed to support the skin’s natural repair processes while helping to maintain hydration and strengthen the skin barrier over time. Alongside advanced peptides and ceramides to help lock in moisture, the formula also features niacinamide, allantoin and beta-glucan to help soothe the skin, reduce visible redness and support a healthier-looking complexion. Once the mask is removed, the remaining serum continues to nourish the skin, helping to reinforce the skin barrier and maintain hydration. Ideal for skin that feels dry, compromised or in need of a boost, it’s a thoughtful treatment that goes beyond a quick fix. Available from skinician.com and Skinician stockists nationwide.

AVEENO Skin Renewal Range (from €11.99): If you struggle with rough, bumpy “strawberry skin” or uneven skin texture, the Aveeno Skin Renewal Range offers a gentle approach to smoother, healthier-looking skin. Suitable for sensitive skin, the collection includes a Gentle Body Scrub, Smoothing Cream and Firming Lotion, designed to work together as part of an effective body care routine. Formulated with naturally derived polyhydroxy acid (PHA) to gently exfoliate, nourishing oat to help support the skin barrier and niacinamide to help brighten the appearance of uneven skin tone, the range combines gentle exfoliation with long-lasting hydration. The Firming Lotion also contains blackberry leaf extract to help improve the appearance of skin firmness and elasticity and is clinically proven to deliver noticeably firmer-looking skin in just one week. Together, the range helps leave skin feeling softer, smoother and more comfortable. Available in pharmacies and grocery retailers nationwide.

To make an appointment for one of my Advanced Facial Treatments | Medical Microneedling | Byonik Laser | Dermalux LED Light Therapy |Slimyonik Body Airstyler | Teen Facials book online at www.shernamalone.ie 

by Galyna Zaitseva

When I first met Saeeda, I was struck by her quiet presence. She speaks softly, listens carefully and has no natural desire to be the centre of attention. At first, she seems shy and reserved. Yet the more time you spend with her, the more clearly you begin to notice the strength beneath that gentleness. I saw the same quiet strength in her studio.

I had imagined a busy creative space filled with fabrics, threads, patterns and unfinished ideas. Instead, everything was carefully organised in containers, with every object in its place. Only the sewing machine and a painting still in progress revealed that this was an artist’s workspace.

Then Saeeda began opening the containers.

One by one, she brought out dresses, blouses, jewellery and embroidered fabrics. She showed me the details she had made by hand and explained the techniques behind them. With each new piece, another part of her creative world appeared.

I had come to select outfits for the photoshoot, but very quickly I stopped choosing and simply began admiring her work. Every garment felt different. Some pieces were delicate and understated, while others were full of colour, embroidery and painted detail. Choosing only three looks was far more difficult than I had expected. I wanted to show everything.

For Saeeda, fashion has always been closely connected to art.

“As an artist, I have always dreamed of seeing people wear my art,” she says. “I love working with my hands, exploring crafts, textures and traditional techniques. Fashion has given me a beautiful way to turn my creativity into something people can wear and enjoy in their everyday lives.”

Saeeda has lived in Clonakilty since June 2024, having come directly to West Cork from Pakistan with her four children. Arriving in Ireland meant leaving behind her home, familiar surroundings and the life she had built.

At a time when almost everything around her was already changing, she also faced breast cancer, surgery and treatment.

“My battle with breast cancer came at a time when my whole life had already changed,” she says. “Facing cancer, surgery and treatment in a new country, largely on my own, was one of the biggest challenges of my life.”

She speaks about this period openly, but without allowing it to become the only story she tells about herself. During our conversation, her thoughts continually returned to the future: to fabrics she would like to try, techniques she wants to explore and ideas she hopes to develop.

“I have never believed in giving up,” she says. “I try not to spend too much time mourning what I have lost or what has been left behind. Instead, I think about what I can create, improve and build next.”

That way of thinking seems to shape both her life and her work.

Today, Saeeda creates clothing under the name S.fusion. The brand reflects her desire to bring different ideas, cultures, artistic traditions and styles together, while keeping comfort and individuality at the heart of every design.

“It is about creating a fusion while keeping comfort and individuality at the centre of everything I do,” she explains.

She currently works mainly with 100 per cent cotton and traditional hand block-printing techniques. Her next step is to explore eco-printing on cotton, and she hopes to work more with organic materials and handwoven textiles in the future.

For Saeeda, the way clothing feels is just as important as the way it looks.

“My purpose is not only to create beautiful and stylish clothing,” she says. “I want to think about people’s comfort and wellbeing too. Clothes can be artistic and stylish while still being breathable, comfortable and kind to the skin.”

What she loves most is beginning with a simple piece of fabric and gradually giving it a character of its own.

“For me, fashion is another form of art. I love taking a simple piece of fabric and giving it its own story. My dream is to let people wear that art.”

Saeeda does not believe personal style should be shaped by every passing trend. For her, clothing is a way of expressing personality, confidence and even mood.

She is especially passionate about reminding women that style does not disappear with age. Bodies change and the clothes that once felt right may no longer suit who we have become. Saeeda sees this not as a reason to withdraw from fashion, but as an opportunity to discover something new.

“Never believe that beauty or style has an age limit. We should never stop expressing ourselves or taking care of how we feel.”

Her advice is to look beyond perfection and pay attention to the way clothes make us feel.

Experimentation is an important part of Saeeda’s own work. She enjoys bringing traditional techniques into modern, uncomplicated silhouettes and exploring unfamiliar combinations of colour and texture.

“Sometimes stepping outside your comfort zone can help you discover a completely new and beautiful side of yourself,” she says.

The photoshoot asked Saeeda to step outside her own comfort zone. For most of her creative life, she had worked behind the scenes, designing clothes and creating looks. This time, she was the one wearing the designs and standing in front of the camera.

“I am quite camera-shy, so it was something completely new for me,” she says. “The photographer made me feel very comfortable, and wearing my own designs gave me a new connection with my work.”

At the beginning of the shoot, Saeeda was understandably reserved. She was more accustomed to adjusting a garment or considering how a look should be presented than thinking about her own position in front of the lens.

Gradually, she began to relax.

“I was very tired by the end and definitely realised that modelling is not as easy as it looks,” she says with humour. “But overall, it was a really beautiful and positive experience.”

During the day, she also experienced a quieter and more personal realisation.

“I suddenly realised that I had almost forgotten to smile. It reminded me that I need to find my smile again.” Those words stayed with me.

By the end of the shoot, Saeeda was no longer thinking so carefully about the camera. She was laughing freely and naturally, surrounded by the clothes she had designed and made with her own hands.

The photoshoot did not turn her into somebody new. It allowed her to see herself – and her work – from another side. For a little while, she was not only the artist behind the clothes, but also the woman wearing them, enjoying them and allowing herself to be seen.

“Cancer changed many things in my life, but it did not take away my creativity or my desire to move forward,” she says. “I am still creating, learning and building new dreams for myself and my children.”

Look One

This look brings together soft shades of green, natural texture and detailed handwork.

Relaxed olive-green trousers create an uncomplicated foundation, while the pistachio-green top, made from artisan-woven natural fabric, introduces texture and delicate hand embroidery. Its easy silhouette allows the beauty of the material to remain visible without making the outfit feel formal.

The long handmade overlayer is the focal point of the look. It has been carefully tailored and embroidered, while the back features a hand-painted floral design. This painted detail makes the garment unmistakably individual – a piece shaped not only by technique, but also by Saeeda’s hand as an artist.

The floral elements on the top and overlayer create a gentle connection between the pieces. They do not match exactly, but they seem to belong to the same story.

Minimal jewellery allows the woven fabric, embroidery and painting to remain at the centre of the outfit. The finished look feels calm and considered, with each handmade detail given space to be noticed.

Stylist’s tip: When wearing a detailed handcrafted piece, pair it with simple shapes and restrained accessories. Let the embroidery, texture or painted detail become the part of the outfit that draws the eye.

Look Two

The second look is light, joyful and full of summer colour.

At its centre is a yellow dress made from natural fabric and decorated with a traditional hand-block print. The warm shade brings brightness and energy, while the relaxed shape keeps the look comfortable and easy to wear.

Underneath, Saeeda wears a powder-blue blouse with full sleeves, hand embroidery at the shoulder and decorative inserts running along the arms. These details give the blouse its own identity rather than allowing it to disappear beneath the dress.

The combination of yellow and pale blue feels fresh and slightly unexpected. Small yellow elements within the embroidery connect the blouse to the dress, making the layering feel natural and balanced.

A caramel-toned handbag adds warmth and complements the earthy quality of the printed cotton. Together, the colours create an outfit that feels expressive without becoming overwhelming.

Stylist’s tip: When layering two contrasting garments, look for one small detail that connects them. A repeated colour in embroidery, print or trim can bring the whole outfit together.

Look Three

The third look is built around shades of blue and a gentle contrast between delicate fabrics and relaxed denim.

The flowing handmade overlayer moves lightly around the body, while fine bead embroidery catches the light with each step. Beneath it, a handmade blouse finished with lace adds another layer of softness and detail.

Wide-leg pale-blue jeans give the outfit a more grounded, contemporary feeling. Their simple structure provides an effective contrast to the sheer fabric, lace and beadwork above.

Because the colours remain within the same family, the different textures become the most interesting part of the look. Denim, transparency, lace and small areas of shimmer each contribute something different while preserving the calmness of the blue palette.

The result is relaxed but distinctive – an outfit that allows handcrafted pieces to become part of everyday dressing rather than reserving them only for special occasions.

Stylist’s tip: A monochromatic outfit becomes more interesting when you combine different fabrics. Denim, lace, sheer layers and beadwork can add depth and movement even when the colours are closely related.

For enquiries or commissions contact Saeeda through instagram (saeedamakeupartist) or Facebook (Saeeda Naeem)

It sounds like a small shift, but it changes everything. As parents, we naturally notice behaviour first. The slammed bedroom door. The eye roll. The silence after school. The argument over homework. The refusal to come to dinner. The endless hours spent behind a bedroom door or scrolling through a phone.

Behaviour is visible. It demands our attention. And because it often disrupts family life, our instinct is usually to stop it as quickly as possible.

But what if behaviour isn’t the problem? What if behaviour is the language our teenagers use when they don’t yet have the words to explain what is happening inside them?

Teenagers rarely wake up deciding to be difficult. They don’t choose anxiety, loneliness, shame or overwhelm. Yet they often don’t have the emotional vocabulary or confidence to say, “I’m struggling,” “I’m scared,” or “I don’t feel good enough.” Instead, those feelings leak out through behaviour.

Imagine trying to read a book by opening it to the very last page. You would know how the story ends, but you would have no understanding of everything that came before it. Behaviour is often like that last page. We see the ending, but we miss the chapters that explain it.

A teenager who snaps over something small may have spent the entire day feeling criticised or excluded. The teenager who refuses to go to school may not be lazy at all. They may be carrying anxiety that feels impossible to describe.The teenager who seems constantly angry may actually be frightened, disappointed or deeply hurt. And sometimes, the teenager who appears perfectly fine is the one quietly struggling the most.

This doesn’t mean that every difficult behaviour should be accepted without boundaries. Boundaries remain one of the greatest gifts we can offer our children. They provide safety, predictability and security. However, boundaries become much more effective when they are paired with curiosity.

Instead of asking, “How do I stop this?” we might ask, “What happened before this?” or “What could my teenager be finding difficult right now?” Curiosity doesn’t remove accountability. It simply helps us understand what we are responding to.

Think about how we respond to a physical symptom. If someone develops a persistent cough, we don’t simply tell them to stop coughing. We become curious. We ask what might be causing it. Behaviour deserves the same level of curiosity.

One of the biggest misconceptions about adolescence is that teenagers stop needing connection. Because they become more independent, spend more time with friends and seek greater privacy, it’s easy to assume they no longer want us involved.

The opposite is often true. Many teenagers desperately want connection. They simply don’t always know how to ask for it without risking rejection or embarrassment.

Sometimes connection looks nothing like the warm conversations parents hope for.

It might look like sitting beside you while you’re watching television. It might be asking for a lift somewhere. It might even look like an argument that started over something insignificant but was really an attempt to be noticed.

Not every behaviour carries a deep hidden meaning, of course. Teenagers are learning, testing limits and making mistakes, just as every generation before them has done.

But when difficult behaviours become repeated patterns, it’s worth wondering whether they are pointing towards an unmet emotional need.

This perspective can be surprisingly freeing for parents. Instead of feeling they have failed because their teenager is struggling, they begin to see themselves as detectives rather than judges and start collecting clues instead of building cases. They begin listening. Noticing that behind the anger there may be fear. Behind the withdrawal there may be shame. Behind the defiance there may be uncertainty. Behind the constant joking there may be sadness.

This doesn’t make parenting easier overnight. Teenagers will still test boundaries and family disagreements will still happen. But when we remember that behaviour is communication, we respond differently.

And perhaps most importantly, our teenagers begin to experience something every young person needs: the feeling of being understood before being corrected. Behaviour may be the loudest thing our teenagers show us, but it is rarely the whole story.

If we can learn to listen beyond the behaviour, we may get to understand the message and discover that what looked like defiance was really distress, what looked like laziness was exhaustion, and what looked like indifference was simply a young person who didn’t yet know how to ask for help.